Friday Dance Party – Workin’ 9 to 5 with Dolly

This is another edition of Friday Dance Party on Acorns On Glen.  It’s the time where we give thanks for living another week.  We give thanks for making it through another stretch of the journey we call life and for being able to celebrate this fact.  People celebrate in all different sorts of ways.  How do we celebrate another week of living here on Acorns On Glen?  We dance.  Are you alive this Friday?  Did you give thanks for that fact?

Good, now let’s dance.

This was a tough week in terms of work.  We were so busy with projects and deadlines at work that it was hard to enjoy the nice Spring weather that has come our way and the fact that all known Mothers are accounted for and present on Glen Road for their big day this Sunday.  We got our wish this week in terms of the weather being mostly sunny with one day of good rain for our plants and our newly seeded front lawn.  Both Mothers are here in Connecticut for us to enjoy Mother’s Day with them.  So life is good!  When we have crazy work weeks like we had this week, we need to remember to take some time to stop every so often, inhale deeply and look around and give thanks for all that’s around us.  It is so easy to get caught up in work and forget to fully live life in the moment and to be happy for the life that we have.  If you don’t stop every once in a while to look around and give thanks for all of your blessings, you can quickly move into a negative state of mind that is not good for you or anyone around you.  So given that it was a tough work week, we thought we’d dance this week to our favorite ode to working.  Yes, it’s the Dolly classic ‘9 to 5’.  Come on, how can you not dance when you see Dolly perform?  So get out your cowboy boots and turn your computer speakers up.  You’ve made it through another week and it’s time to get your dance on today.  Have a great Mother’s Day weekend from all of here at Acorns On Glen!  How do you stay grounded and positive when work presents a tough week for you? 

Old Times Versus Modern Times…A Debate

This is a reflection on now versus then, and which one is better.  Recently, my friend Jo and I were catching up and talking about the old times.  She and I grew up in the same small town in Iowa and while we have gone our separate ways, when we do connect, it is like we just talked yesterday.  She has been my friend since I can remember.  When someone knows all about your life, you know they are good friends.  For some reason, we were talking about books we were  both reading on the Civil War.  From that, both of us remembered a story from our Junior High days and were laughing about what would happen now if the same series of events unfolded.  I am going to tell the story the old way as best as I can remember and then I’m going to tell it the modern way.  What happened then versus what would happen now.  You can help decide which were better times.  It all starts in Mr. K.’s Social Studies class in 1977.

Mr. K. was not necessarily a great teacher.  His method of teaching was reading to you from a copy of our Social Studies textbook.  There was nothing written on the chalk board, no group discussion, no questions.  Just Mr. K. droning on about what happened in the world from the beginning of recorded history to the start of World War II.  You see, our textbooks were outdated.  Being determined to finish reading the textbook to us before the year ended, Mr. K. ended where the book did, which was the beginning of World War II.  It would be much later in our lives before we ever heard stories of nuclear bomb shelters, John F. Kennedy, the Vietnam War or Martin Luther King, Jr.  Basically, no knowledge of history from 1943 through 1977 for the Class of ’82.

In late Winter/early Spring of 1977, we had reached the Civil War.  Mr. K. read as eloquently as he could about what it was like during those days.  Many days, the soldiers had little, if anything, to eat.  In the darkest of times, they were reduced to frying up a thing called hardtack biscuits.  Hardtack biscuits  were a mixture of flour, water and salt that were then thrown into some hot oil and fried until golden brown.  No peanut butter, no jam on them.  Just a small flour biscuit was all these men would eat for days on end. 

That story did nothing for any of us, except for one classmate, Brian P.  In one of the rare times that I can remember in Mr. K.’s class, he actually raised his hand and ask to repeat the hardtack recipe.  Brian P. was so intrigued that he rushed home that afternoon to create an authentic Civil War moment for himself.  He pulled down his mother’s Fry Daddy, heated the lard inside to the highest temperature that was possible for the Fry Daddy to get to and began to make “at home” hardtack.  He mixed a large amount of flour and salt together with water until a very sticky ball was formed in the bowl.  He then spooned out six large globs of the mixture and placed them in the hot lard.  He was so excited.  He knew to fry them until golden.  He went to check on his Civil War staple and looked down into the Fry Daddy.  At that moment, the hard tack exploded.  There were too many air bubbles in the sticky mixture and they released into the grease at the same time poor Brian P. looked into the frying machine.  Hot grease rose out of the Fry Daddy like hot molten lava spews out of a volcano.  It hit Brian P. hard in the face and hands and created second degree burns all over his little white cherubic face, neck, hands and fingers.  He was burnt badly.  However, the next day, his mother sent him to school.

We knew the next day that something was wrong.  We walked into Social Studies and it was not the same.  Mr. K. stood in front of us versus sitting at his desk.  He did not have the outdated textbook in his hands.  He didn’t call each of our names out and take attendance.  We were asked to quickly sit down for an important announcement.  We all sat down with the exception of Brian P.  He was not there.  He was absent.  Mr. K. proceeded to tell us the sad plight of Brian P. and his adventures in hardtack gone wrong.  We were told not to try the art of hardtack frying at home.  It was dangerous.  It would result in burns.  Then he motioned out into the hallway and in walked Brian P.  The class gasped and screamed at Brian P.’s bubbled up face.  Fried face, swollen eyelids, big lips and what appeared to be a webbed set of fingers.  One eyelid appeared to be inside out.  He sat down in his seat and said nothing.  People who sat near him leaned away.  Angie P. in our class asked to be excused as she thought she saw pus on one of his burns and she was going to get sick.  No one said a word as Mr. K. began reading about the Civil War as if nothing happened.

That was then.  Now let me tell you the story if it happened now in modern times.

Brian P. took his ear buds out of his ears and was flush with excitement.  The DVD he was watching on the school’s iMac was so interesting.  He was the first in his self-paced History class to get to the Civil War.  No one else knew or had even heard of hardtack as it was told to him from a long-ago taped Civil War veteran’s narrative who had made the biscuits for his troop.  He would go home this afternoon, he decided, and make a batch of “at home” hardtack to bring to his class in the morning in order to receive extra credit.  If he aced his History class, the sky was the limit at the number of private high schools where he had applied.  He could go anywhere!

He went home and turned on the deep fat fryer that was part of the stove on the island of his parent’s kitchen.  Thank god Mom had wanted a replica of Paula Deen’s kitchen set up, complete with the built-in fryer.  Brian P. could hear the organic vegetable oil bubbling as it heated up for his project.  He mixed flour, salt and water into a large bowl until a sticky glob appeared.  He scooped out six mounds of the sticky mixture with an ice cream scoop his mom used only for cookie making and placed them in the hot oil.  He knew to wait until they were golden.  He looked over the fryer at the same time the “at home” hardtack exploded in his face. 

Brain P.’s parents rushed into the kitchen.  His mother called 911 and gave a complete and detailed description of what had happened.  The ambulance and police were on their way.  Brian P.’s parents went to their fully stocked first aid kit and applied burn ointment to his wounds to stop the burning and to reduce pain.  Brian P.’s father went with him in the ambulance to the hospital.  His mother stayed at the house until Child Protective Services arrived to make sure there were no signs of child abuse or neglect at play here.  The other mother’s in the neighborhood would sneer for weeks at Brian P.’s mom asking amongst themselves what kind of mother leaves her child unattended in her Paula Deen kitchen.

At the hospital, it was decided that Brian P. should be air lifted to a hospital with more of an advanced burn unit.  It was only second degree burns but better safe than sorry.  He was placed on an IV of fluids and an antibiotic.  His father also called in a favor from a collegue who asked his plastic surgeon friend in town if he could come to the new hospital in case there needed to be any stitches or facial work done.  How would Brian P. make it in his life with a scar or glaring spot of red on his face, neck or hands? 

Brian P. did not return to school until six weeks later.  He was up to speed with the class, as his parents hired a tutor that taught him during the day the same lessons the other children were receiving in school.  His parents, however, had entered into a trial separation over who was at fault for the incident and the stress involved.  The class had already progressed to the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s.  Each student told Brian P. of their interviews with law enforcement about if there was any funny business going on in history class.  Mr. K. had returned from his paid leave of absence that was done until further investigation had concluded.  Mr. K. was reprimanded, but not fired.  The self-paced DVDs were being reviewed by the parent’s association and might be replaced with newer ones based on the results of the Spring school fund raiser.

In each story, Brian P. made a full recovery in all respects.  He had created a legacy for himself with a story that would be told for generations.  The great hardtack scandal would take on a life of its own.  As my friend Jo and I finished our look back at Brian P.’s bad luck, we talked about whether it was better then or better now.  Jo emailed me later and said how many of our classmates bring up the Brian P. hardtack story and his crispy little face.  She said she simply cannot believe, looking back on it, that his mother made him go to school like that.  That’s the kind of crap that used to happen.  That if it happened today, parents would get jailed.   He probably should have been in the hospital.   Her final words about Brian P. were that she thought she missed those days.  Those days of naïveté and ignorance were bliss.  That there was something to be said for all of it back then.  It got me to thinking and wondering what times were better and I decided to ask for your opinion.  Do you think times were better or worse back in the old times versus how they are now in modern times, especially as it relates to kids?

A Miracle Turns Ugly

This is a waterfall that I never knew existed.  In a recent post about Spring, I had mentioned that I had taken a long walk on Glen Road.  Our dog, JoJo, joined me as well.  It was a nice feeling being out on a beautiful Spring-like day and it was the perfect opportunity to get JoJo out for a walk.  She loves the out of doors and this Winter has not given her much of an opportunity to get out and about.  After a few new twists and turns from the path we normally take, I began to hear the sound of splashing and running water.  As I walked towards the sound, the water noises began to get louder and louder.  Rounding the corner, I came across a little miracle….a waterfall.  Maybe water from the swollen creek coming over a dam built by some busy beavers?  I had no idea that this waterfall existed.  Maybe it was just created by the melting winter snow and rain?  I stood there taking these pictures thinking about how something so lovely and peaceful could just pop up out of nowhere.  JoJo stood there in silence as well.  I think she was as surprised as I was that something so beautiful existed so close to home.  This is like a story about life, really.  The fact that you never know what you will see when you round a corner or start a new chapter in your own life.  Nature, in particular for me, gives me miracles almost every day if I look for them.  A sprouting seed, a tomato on a vine, a butterfly, a waterfall.  All signs that wonderful things are out there if you are aware and in the moment.

As JoJo and I ventured closer to the dam itself, it did indeed appear to have many traits that told us this was the work of a beaver.  Beavers are known for their natural trait of building dams on rivers and streams, and building their homes (known as “lodges”) in the resulting pond.  Beavers also build canals to float build materials that are difficult to haul over land.  They use powerful front teeth to cut trees and other plants that they use both for building and for food.  In the absence of existing ponds, beavers must construct dams before building their lodges. First they place vertical poles, then fill between the poles with a crisscross of horizontally placed branches.  They fill in the gaps between the branches with a combination of weeds and mud until the dam impounds sufficient water to surround the lodge.  This dam and the waterfall over it was spectacular.  A couple more shots from the path and then JoJo and I would be ready to walk again knowing that we would absolutely come back soon.  I picked JoJo up and we began to walk.  Then it happened…………

There was a slapping noise on the water and then the sound of feet crunching on dead leaves and grass.  I could not believe what was crawling towards us.  Before our eyes was a brave beaver now standing right by us.  You know I do not like critters, especially ones that drop by without an invitation.  I’m not sure what size a normal beaver really is, but this one was huge (in my mind).  Wet, dripping, redish-brown fur, black beady eyes and five inch razor-sharp claws.  I even think I caught a whiff of hot, steamy, foul-smelling breath coming from its nostrils and mouth.  I was terrified!  How could this be happening to me?  In my mind, I could see the beaver attacking me.  It has teeth that can cut down trees, so I knew that this beaver could easily take me with one bite.  It would knock me out with one slap of its tail on my head.  It would chew me up and store me for future meals.  Future explorers to the dam would look down to find a dirty leg bone (mine) that was used to hold back the water.  The Coroner would confirm on the news a week later that the bone did indeed belong to the man from Glen Road that went missing in the woods.  Thank God I had JoJo in my arms.  The beaver just survived a punishing winter and had to be hungry.  Maybe it was thinking that JoJo looked like an appetizer?  Do beavers have a taste for Yorkies?

I did the most manly thing I could think of while standing there paralyzed with fear.  I let out a high-pitched scream.  This scream was so loud and shrill that it could be heard by animals within a seven mile radius.  No human would ever be able to hear my scream due to the high decibel level that came out of my mouth.  Human ears just aren’t capable of hearing at this pitch.  I turned around, Yorkie in hand, and ran for my life.  I made some zig zags in my course in case the beaver used its strong legs and lunged at me.  It might miss me if I keep going to the left and then to the right.  I quit running about a hundred yards away.  I turned around to see the beast, but it was gone.  Back into the water it loves so well.  That damned dam….why did my miracle have to end so ugly?  What are some of your real-life critter stories that you can share on Acorns On Glen? 

When The Lid Blows Off The Pot – Another Way

This is an old-fashioned pressure cooker.  I had to laugh at a comment made by Kathy D yesterday about the title of my post.  She said she thought  the story would be about a failed pressure cooker experiment.  This reminded me of the things my mother told my brother and I when we were young.  The things that we were not allowed to do.  Only in my mother’s case, she would tell us not to do something, followed with a reason that would scar us for the rest of our lives.  Let me give you my top three “do not do this” warnings given to my brother and me from my mother which include her special twists for child terror.

“Don’t play with matches”.  A simple request from any mother, right?  My mother started out right, “Don’t play with matches”, but then she would scare us to death with the rest of the story, “or you’ll end up catching on fire like I did”.  OK, it’s true, my mother did fall into a fire at a young age and was burnt very badly.  However, after we were warned, there was always a threat to whip up her sweater or blouse and show us where she was burned.  She’d come at us lightly tugging at the bottom of her top for added drama.  Although she didn’t say it, we knew what she was thinking.  Don’t you two even talk back and make me pull this up and show you!  It worked–she had experience with acts of fire….why would we go against her.  What kid wants to become a human torch?  My brother and I could not strike a match until we were taught around eighteen years of age.  Up until that point, the site of a match would terrify us.  We would tell everyone, “Sorry, we are not allowed to use a match, we don’t want to ignite”.  I’m still not good at lighting one to this day and can feel my hair melting off or my clothes going up in flames every time I light a candle or, god forbid, a bonfire.  That’s how much matches scare us, thanks to our mother.

“Don’t eat that fish until I check for bones”.  We would look up and then it would come “because if you get a small bone in your throat this will be the last dinner you see before you choke to death”.  Make mine a hot dog please!  Until almost fourteen or so, my brother and I would never begin to eat fish until my mother pulled it apart piece by piece and ensured that it was bone free by pinching it between her fingers.  To this day, I can be at the most expensive restaurant with a piece of fish in front of me and when I feel a bone in my mouth I panic knowing that this small blade is going to slide down my throat, ripping it to shreds until it lodges, and then end a pretty good life in a tragic fashion.  When they tell my mother of my demise, she would lift her head, wipe her tears away and say to my father “Didn’t I warn them?”

Now comes my favorite.  “Don’t ever use a pressure cooker and if you are around someone who is using one, leave immediately”.  Then the rest of the story, “You know that Coleen Jenkins (name changed to protect the innocent) was never right after her pressure cooker lid exploded in her face”.  In my home town, women cooked their asses off to please their man.  They baked, broiled, steamed, fried, roasted and pressure cooked.  Whatever it took to put a meal on the table.  What could be bad with chili in a minute or a 20 pound turkey in less than an hour?  I’m not sure that my brother or I ever met or knew Coleen Jenkins, but we could imagine her plight.  How could you not be damaged in some way by having a red-hot steel disc with attachments hit you smack in the face while it was traveling at the speed of light?  We would imagine her twisted mouth, dent in her forehead, slurred speech, one crossed eye.  That mental image was enough for my brother and I to picture in our minds to make sure that anything with a valve was not our friend.  I have a pressure cooker now.  When we use it here on Glen Road, I break into a cold sweat and run into the other room thinking out of sight, out of mind.  I pray, “Oh God, please don’t make us like Coleen Jenkins, I beg you!”

What can I say?  It worked with my mother–no matches, no un-pinched fish and no pressure cookers for my brother or me until early adulthood.  She did her job…..well, in a different manner than most shall we say, but she did her job.  What crazy things were you told not to do by your mother when you were younger?

When The Lid Blows Off The Pot

This is me, circa 1979.  I was 15 years old and on a class trip to Canada.  I vaguely remember this photo being taken.  These were my friends at the time, but all that would soon change after we got back to the U.S.  I blurred their faces to avoid trouble and so I didn’t have to look at them.  This is my first serious post.  No one can be happy all the time.  Let’s start at the beginning……..

I have never liked Facebook.  I don’t get the walls, friends, saying you can or cannot be my friend–the whole process.  However, my number one reason for not liking Facebook is that I think it is a bit too personal for me.  You have to give too many specifics it seems–your name, where you live, etc.  Then the people start finding you.  Quite frankly, there are some people from my past that I do not want to communicate with no matter how many years have gone by since I saw them last.  Most of these people are from high school, which was a very hard time for me.  I struggled to fit in with the other teenagers.  I don’t want them finding me and then wanting to chat as if nothing had happened all those years ago.  Therefore, I am not a member of Facebook.  However, my mother did join.  She is not really active on the site but she does look at pictures of her current and past friends, classmates, etc.  She rarely writes to any of them.  She also has gotten some updates on my old high school classmates.  She was surprised at how some of them turned out and how some of them looked.  So, she and I thought it would be fun if I used her login and password to look around and see how my fellow classmates were doing and, not that I’m proud of this–what they looked like almost 30 years later. 

Big mistake!

High school was not an easy time for me.  I never felt like I fit in that well.  I’m sure I’m not alone with these feelings.  In later years, I would need to find myself and feel confident about the man I had become.  In high school, I felt lost.  Only a couple of close friends, feelings of isolation, feelings of being different.  I got picked on a little.  Thank god I had my brother around to protect me.  I couldn’t wait to graduate and get out of there.  I also think it didn’t help that in a small farming town, I didn’t like sports but instead was smart in school and loved to read books and play my trumpet in the band.  Think “Friday Night Lights” from TV, but I wasn’t on the football team.  In my mind, these feelings started after I returned from our Canadian school trip and the friends in the picture no longer wanted me in their group.  I used to call this event “Chapter 1 in Loneliness” when I was in therapy a long time ago.  I know they didn’t do it on purpose, but for some reason, they left me behind–they didn’t call to talk, they didn’t invite me to go with them to the movies, we didn’t hang out anymore.  Did I do something, did I have something they wanted or didn’t have something they needed, was I too strange or was I too smart for them…..What was now different?  Why didn’t they like me anymore?  I remember sitting outside and watching them gather and leave on a Saturday night without me and feeling hurt.  I would struggle to get over these feelings for most of my young adult life.  There are lots of “ideas” on what had happened from various “experts” who I have talked to over the years about these feelings and strategies on how to get over them.  God knows I have discussed it with clergy, discussed it with shrinks all over the country, read hundreds of self-help books and went to as many lectures.  I thought I had gotten over my feelings from high school.  I understood what had happened and I had filed it away and moved on to better things.  I got it already.  It was over!

Then the lid blew off the pot. 

When I saw this picture on Facebook, the same feelings that started over 30 years ago came back hard and strong.  Feelings of hate, loneliness, sadness, regret.  I felt them pouring out of my chest at a million miles an hour.  I wept for that little boy in the picture after those feelings resurfaced.  His life was about to drastically change.  He would be forever altered.  He didn’t even realize what was about to happen.

He is not who I am now, not even close, but he is a part of me.  He has always been there somewhere deep inside of me.  He must have been hiding.  I guess it was his time to be seen again and I now know that filing him away was not the right thing to do.  It’s time to deal with him once again and the feelings that he brings.  Life is a crazy game–you never know what it is going to hand out to you at any given second.  So here is what I want to ask you:  Do you think that we ever get over our issues, especially those that happened when we were young?